Nice Girls Finish Last

Ever heard of the saying nice guys finish last? Yeah, well the same holds for the opposite gender. Don’t believe me? I’ve been an overly nice girl my whole life. Trust me, it ain’t NICE at all.

Before you judge, just know that I’ve always been a genuinely nice to almost every person I’ve encountered. What did I get from that? Nil, nada, ZILCH.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to be nice in expectance of anything. It’s just that, it would’ve been sweet if anyone bothered to appreciate me for who I am.

I’ve been overlooked for promotions several times, used as the middle person for others’ romantic favours, ghosted by friends whom I considered near and dear, and the list goes on.

Since we were young, we were taught to be nice and respectful towards everybody. Newsflash, the real world ain’t all that rosy, honey!

If you don’t stand up for yourself or have opinions, you’ll be treated like a doormat for sure. This basically happened to me my entire career. My bosses kept promising me promotions and instead others around me got promoted, despite me always giving my 110% and being genuine in what I do. They must have had a good laugh thinking to themselves, “Hey, this sucker will stick around whether or not I promote her”. Jokes on them though because I grew a pair and decided to resign and move on to greener pastures after realising I do not owe anyone anything.

In terms of friendships, I’ve been watering the wrong plants my whole life. People who I treated as my best friends have betrayed me, treated me as secondary and have barely ever asked about my well-being. Several have pretended to be close to me in order to curry favour.

I’m starting to learn my lesson, although being an overly nice person is an in-built quality, I’m actively trying to change. At the end of the day, most people are selfish and only require you either to validate them or when it is convenient for them. As sad as it sounds, nice people will never be the number one priority to anyone. Don’t try to change my mind, I’ve been around long enough to know better.

So you think you’re an overly nice person and you’ve been made into a doormat? Congratulations, you’re finally self-reflecting. As a first step, these are the traits of an overly nice person:

• You probably keep your opinions to yourself in order to avoid conflict
• You genuinely compliment people often
• You help everyone around you, often times unprompted
• You never say no
• You have no boundaries
• You prioritise everyone else’s well-being before yours, even in decision-making
• You get gaslit often
• You’ve been bullied as a child

If you have more than half of these traits, unfortunately, you’re too nice. It’s time for you to prioritise yourself. Have more opinions and voice them aloud. Wear what YOU like. Do what YOU enjoy. Give back only to those who really need it, and not everyone who crosses your path. Most importantly, if someone does you wrong, cut them off and move on.

2024 is our era. Let’s rock it!

Always remember, nice girls finish last.

P.S. I’m not advising anyone to be a mean person or hurt others in any way or form. I’m just trying to help those who have been or are in my position and want to improve themselves and achieve their goals

P.P.S. These are my opinions and since I’m no longer very nice, I’m not asking for yours :) Thanks!